When You’re “Too Much” for the Church: A Misfit, a Creep, a Weirdo, But Just Right for Jesus

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When I got born again in 2002, it was full steam ahead for me, face like flint, hands to the plow no looking back with Jesus. I was all in with the Lord. I didn’t care what people thought about me. I just wanted as much of Him that He’d allow me to have. I was so hungry for the things of God.

I got saved, water baptized, and filled with the Holy Spirit with the evidence of speaking in tongues within a few months of each other. Do NOT mishear my heart: I am not boasting in myself but the Lord whose Word is true, “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled,” (Matthew 5:6). That’s exactly what happened. It’s as simple as that and for every believer who hungers after Him.

Jesus was like: Most assuredly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink His blood, you have no life in you,” (John 6:53).

I was like: “Since, You’re buying, well already paid for “lunch”, let’s go!” And I skipped off hand-in-hand with Jesus on our peculiar journey together of various terrains – valleys, mountains, and such.

Well, in the early years of my walk with Him, it seemed like He tested my declaration of utter devotion to Him. Ha Ha Ha, Lord!

This. Is. Hilarious

A few months before the Passion of the Christ movie came out, they showed the trailer at the church I was attending. Moments into it when they showed a portion of the crucifixion scene, the Spirit of God fell on me HARD.

I began to travail by the Spirit with guttural weeping and groanings from deep within my soul and spirit. Uncontrollably. And not at all quietly. Like all poured out completely weeping. There was even a guest speaker that day, and the church was full. At least 150-200 people. I do remember the guest speaker saying, “Praise God,” to my weeping because he must have recognized the familiar sounds of the travails of the Spirit, but that fellow “weirdo” never returned so.

I’d said to the Lord many times before that I was a living sacrifice unto Him, and I meant it and still do. Well, He poured it on thick that day.

I’m not saying be disruptive, rush the stage, and dance in the Spirit while the pastor is preaching. I mean: Be led by the Spirit who is peace not chaos. And the Spirit weeping through me at the remembrance of the Son of God being crucified so graphically was a time to He wanted to weep and did so through willing and given over to Him me.

I never made many friends at that church by the way. Just one other “creep” they also looked down upon – a mighty woman of God who laid hands on me in her home that God used to fill me with the Holy Spirit with the evidence of speaking in tongues. The first words of my prayer language simply – La. La. La. La. La.

I find the Lord and His ways so wonderfully peculiar, fascinating, and humbling at the same time. And I still don’t have many friends because I’m unwilling to quench the Spirit nor walk away from the narrow path. But that’s, okay, Jesus. You’re worth it.

When the church shuns someone for simply being fully surrendered, not perfect, surrendered, it’s not that they are “too much” or “too radical”. It is that Jesus and the ways of the Spirit are too much and too radical for the shunners. It’s Him they reject or pull away from. Not the surrendered, peculiar ones.

Honestly, I don’t fit so well in most churches because I don’t know how to do this walk without fearlessly giving myself over to the Spirit to have His way through me. For example, the Spirit loves to dance, so He dances through me. I will not stop Him for man’s sake. I don’t care what they think. But many care. They care how it makes their institution appear. “Oh, no! It might scare away the members.” They fear man more than God. That’s on them, but I refuse to allow them to stifle the Spirit in me or the ways of God.

Writing this made me think of that 90s song, Creep, by Radiohead. Parts of it resonate with me and my walk with the Lord. I changed the pronouns of the original song to make it work for this post and adlibbed the rest.

You’re a creep.

You’re a weirdo.

What the hell are you doing here?

You don’t belong here.


You may think I’m a creep.

You may think I’m a weirdo.

What am I doing here?

I belong to Jesus.

[Paraphrased and additional lyrics adlibbed/added by me to the song, Creep, by Radiohead]

Don’t worry if you don’t seem to fit in with the majority of Christians. The Word says, “Narrow is the path that leads to life, and few there be that find it.”

I’m sorry if you’ve suffered from church hurts and were mistreated by those who are called to love you. You’re not alone, You are His, and nothing can separate you from His love. Be sure to forgive them and give the situation over to the Lord. Unforgiveness is not worth it. And it’s disobedience to the Lord. Blessed are you when you are hated for His namesake. He will make a way to bless you for what you went through.

Perhaps it’s not such a bad thing not to fit in with the crowd after all. Jesus didn’t.

Exposing Darkness

COVID-19 and Male Fertility: “Some men may want to consider freezing their sperm prior to vaccination”

Photo by Public Domain Pictures on Pexels.com

“So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. Then God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth,” (Genesis 1:27-28).

Anyone surprised by this news? Not me.

Of course godless science that includes growing and testing vaccines in the cells of murdered (aborted) babies violates the Word of God in more ways than one. Of course, the enemy would also use people to use vaccines to steal, kill, and destroy people’s ability to “be fruitful and multiply.”

“The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly,” (John 10:10).

So how does the COVID vaccine line up with the John 10:10 test?

Uses the cells from murdered (aborted) babies to produce it. May kill sperm and cause male infertility. Checkmarks in the devil’s column.

Some quotes from the video above the article that recommends men consider freezing their sperm before getting the COVID vaccine:

Dr. Ramasamy says, “This vaccine has never been tested for male fertility…some men may want to consider freezing their sperm before they get vaccinated.”

Here’s a screenshot of the article before it’s disappeared.

All followers of Christ are called to search for the truth not allow others to tell them what to believe.

Here is a page of videos on Daystar TV’s website all about vaccines, their ingredients, and also their crimes against humanity.
The TRUTH shall set us free…
Click here to watch, learn, and get really angry at the works of the devil in the vaccine industry that makes billions off the world, its guinea pig for their experimental, abominable sciences.

They’ve used the poor and vulnerable in Africa to test their vaccines causing sickness, death, infertility, etc.

Think this election and election related fraud is the only thing ever silenced by the media?

WRONG!!! Vaccines, their science, ingredients, injury and death associated with them, etc. have been censored by the billionaire pharmaceutical companies for decades.

There is a wicked level of conflict of interests associated with the vaccine industry as well. Research it for yourself. The CDC, part of the U.S. government, own patents to vaccines, etc.

You have to actively dig and research to find the truth. I strongly believe it’s the responsibility of the church to spread the truth about vaccines, especially ones containing the products of murder (aborted babies).

How can we be credible witnesses for Christ to the world if we compromise on any one pro-life issue?

We can’t unless we believe the Word 100% not just when it is convenient or when it doesn’t make us “appear” foolish in the eyes of the lost who lack the ability to discern anything according to the Word anyway.

Does your church pass the pro-life test on vaccines? Does it even warn you about them? Mention them even? If not, I’d prayerfully consider finding a new church as the Lord says if a shepherd loves the Lord’s sheep, he will take care of them and tend to them.


God is Dealing with the MSM – Mainstream MINISTRIES Too

“Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it,” (Matthew 7:13-14).

By the Holy Spirit, we know this is a season of exposure and justice in the United States and the nations. He’s had many intercessors crying out for it for years. We are now seeing the fruit of our many prayers coming to pass before our eyes.

The church is not immune to this. Wherever exposure is needed, it will happen. We know the Lord is dealing with and exposing the MSM – mainstream media – as “false prophets” – working with the enemies of this nation.

And recently, I heard the Lord say, He’s dealing with the MSM too, and gave me the lead verse above Matthew 7:13-14.

I immediately understood that He meant ministries (including churches of course) who’ve taken the broad path that leads to destruction and their sheep with them.

The time for ministries who’ve led sheep stray to get on their faces and repent before the Lord is now. He’s cleaning His house up and has been for some time. He’s dealing with the severe hardness of heart in many church leaders and and their lust for power and fame. Sadly, people have made some ministry leaders into idols of sorts, and instead of resisting the devil in it and pointing His lambs to Him, they soaked up the glory for themselves, and became blinded by satan.

He’s also been using what was meant for evil – the “virus” – to bring exposure to churches and ministries as well. Nothing is hidden that will not be brought to light.

As His children, it’s time to diligently seek the Lord about who we allow as headship over us spiritually. It matters A LOT! Check in with Papa God to be sure they are not leading you astray in any way.

And if the Lord says “run” you run without regard to who’s offended. The time is late. Souls are at stake. We cannot be effective for Jesus and furthering His kingdom sitting under teachers who lead us astray and refuse to be led by the Holy Spirit.

“But blessed are your eyes for they see, and your ears for they hear,” (Matthew 13:16).

Don’t just walk, RUN, the Lord says from these MSM – mainstream churches and ministries on the broad path to destruction.